Shecky Moskowitz, a deservedly struggling young comedian, lands a menial job on a cruise ship as the Miss-Universe contest is being held on-board. The Big Man On Deck for this voyage is Dickie Diamond, the ship's comedian and all-around ladies' man. As an assorted array of thugs, Panamanian mercenaries and terrorists try to storm the ship, Shecky hopes for one big chance to prove himself and enter the exciting world of cruise ship comedy.

Two girls go away to a holiday resort looking for a change of pace, hoping to meet some nice men for a change. They discover that they can't find the perfect man, and this forces them to reconsider thei attitudes to men in general.

Americans are captured on surveillance cameras at least 170 times a day mostly without their knowledge. This produces millions of hours of footage revealing the nature of those hidden secrets.